Warning Signs That You Need A New Life

Your job requires you to wear a paper hat.

You consider professional wrestling a sport.

You know all the words to the Brady Bunch theme.

You don't buy National Enquirer at the checkout.... you subscribe.

You get unnecessary haircuts, just to have someone run their fingers through your hair.

You believe Oswald acted alone, except for the aliens behind the grassy knoll.

The first four digits of your girl/boyfriend's phone number are 1-900.

You really DO read Playboy/Playgirl for the articles.

You play the accordion.