Honey, Where Are My Pants?

By Grant Phillips

The modern male is being emasculated, and the family is being ripped to shreds because of it.

When our original parents, Adam and Eve, sinned against God by listening to that ole serpent Satan, they brought down the curses of God upon mankind.

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband (and though you may desire to control your husband), and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16)

When men stop being men and women stop being women, a nation is headed for disaster. Today, men are becoming more feminized and women are striving to take the man's place. No wonder our children are confused.

When God created Adam, he made him of the dust of the ground. When he created Eve, he made her from one of Adam's ribs, which ultimately came from the dust of the ground.

The first institution God set up on this earth was the family. In the family He designated the man as the head and the woman as his helpmate, not his underling, but helpmate. (Notice, by the way, that he did not create Adam and Steve for this family. He created Adam and Eve, male and female.) Adam was to provide for his family, by the sweat of his brow. Eve was to bear their children, take care of the them and manage the household.

Now I realize that what will be said in this article will probably ruffle the feathers of some, but it shouldn’t. However, if that be the case, take it up with God. It was His idea, and it still is. I'm just the messenger.

As we read the Bible in its entirety, we get a very clear idea of what God expects from the man (husband) and the woman (wife).

When God said that the man is to be over the woman, what did He mean by that? Is the man supposed to be some type of hotshot, drill sergeant, Archie Bunker type, modern day dictator, prince of the palace, king of the castle? Many men have this idea, and practice it. Other men today have been so slapped silly by the petticoat, they don't know who or what they are.

Jesus made it clear through the teaching of the Apostle Paul that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. So how does Jesus love the Church? Jesus loves His Church (His bride) so much, He gave up everything He had, and died for her. Then He rose from the grave, and is now making a home for her in Heaven to be with Him forever. That is how much a husband should love his wife. He is the head of the house, appointed by God, but he leads with love. If a husband loves his wife as Jesus loves the Church, he would never think of doing anything that would harm her, embarrass her, or cause her any discomfort of any kind. He would provide for her needs within the best of his ability, and even her wants that they can afford and are within reason.

The Godly woman desires a man who loves her as Jesus does His Church, and fits the description mentioned above. She wants his respect and is willing to follow a man she can lean on and depend on. She wants a man who will be a real father to their children, teaching them the ways of God.

So what is happening in the homes of America today? (1) I believe that in many Christian homes, and even non-Christian homes, there is a proper balance between husband and wife that God has ordained. (2) In other homes, men are brutes, savage animals, who were probably spoiled brats growing up. (3) In others, men are so apologetic about being a man, it's disgusting. It is this third group I would like to address at this time, but first I would like to provide a paragraph for another type of man.

Homosexuality is a disease upon this land like no other. It has brought down nations in the past, and ours is now on its way out. God will not tolerate this type of sin. God and His Church love those who are caught in this Devil's nightmare, but the act itself is nothing less than sin. We love the sinner, but hate the sin. We want nothing more than to see them reach out to Jesus Christ and be saved. Then we can rejoice together, for the victory in Christ that they have found over this sin. Just to make sure that I am understood, I will say very plainly, that if you call yourself a Christian, but refuse to give up your homosexual life-style, you are not a child of God. God has never condoned this type of perversion, and never will. He hates it. Don't gamble with your soul. It must be understood that these are not my words. My words mean nothing. These are the words and warnings of God. The Almighty God has made every provision for us to be saved. That provision is in His Son, Jesus Christ. Only through Him can any of us find salvation for our souls, and deliverance from sins that He absolutely will not tolerate.


Now back to Mr. Mealy Mouth. I have already stated what I feel God's Word shows a husband should be. A Christian husband in particular should be a leader, a protector, a teacher of God's Word, a decision maker, an example to his wife and children, a lover and friend to his wife, a provider, and a disciplinarian (with love) to his children when necessary. A Godly wife wants her husband to be all these things.

There are other women though who would prefer to “wear the pants” if they get the slightest chance. I quoted Genesis 3:16 in the third paragraph of this article for a reason. In the very beginning a curse of division was upon the family, which is a desire for the woman to take control of the leadership position that was assigned by God to the man. Sometimes this is the case in a marriage, and sometimes the problem is with the husband, who simply is not fulfilling his duty to God, and his wife and children.

I am amazed at some men in the churches who are not fulfilling their leadership role in the family. It can be readily seen in the behavior of their children, and the activities their children may be involved in. It can be seen when they act like whipped puppies around their wives. I have witnessed deacons and pastors who can't tie their shoe laces, unless their wives tell them how to do it. That in itself disqualifies them for the position of deacon or pastor that they may hold. Is that to say the wife has no voice, that she can't even state her opinion? Of course not. That is ludicrous. The husband may be the leader, but they both are still a team. Actually, it would be wise for him to listen to her. He could very well avoid many stupid decisions.

You can also tell a well-balanced family by the love and respect a man shows his wife, the honor she shows him in return, the well-behaved mannerisms of their children, and the love in the children’s eyes for their parents.

Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to recognize a bully either, when the children are much too timid, and the wife very quiet and withdrawn.

When both husband and wife work, should they share responsibilities around the home? Yes, but not with a begrudging attitude. Marital love should result in each spouse wanting to lessen the load of the other. They are a team. It then becomes an act of love, instead of a chore. It isn’t so much what you do, but who you are. Great leaders will not hesitate to roll up their sleeves, and do whatever is necessary “for the cause”.

Speaking of chores, this is something that children of the home need to become very familiar with at an early age. Today’s parents are doing their children an injustice by not requiring them to work around the house for their room and board, whether inside or outside. Many children today are so lazy, dead lice wouldn’t fall off them. Your children will never have a good work ethic, unless you teach them.

This article may not apply to very many Christian men, but if it does in your case, you need to take a look around the house and find your pants (figuratively speaking of course). Put them on, and be the Christian leader God expects you to be with your family. Make your wife and children proud by loving them and leading them as Jesus does His Church. The best gift you can give your family, is to be the Christian husband and dad God expects you to be.

Grant Phillips
grantphillips@windstream.net